


Let Go

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Markbum, Soft Im Jaebum | JB, i heart my boys, jackbum friendship goals, jjp, letting go, mark is so beautiful though really, not really fluff, this was hard to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 21:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15671547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: the one where one needs to learn to let go.





	Let Go

Jaebum scanned the small crowd outside the arrival gate. “hyung!” jackson yelled grabbing his attention.He spotted the platinum blonde grinning and waving. Jaebum waved back and proceeded towards him, pushing past the taxi offers. The first thing jackson said when jaebum managed to reach him was, “you look good,which means you got laid, which means mark happened. How’s mark?” Jaebum snorted. “Hi hyung! How ae you hyung? How was the flight? Have you eaten? No, the first thing I get is I looked thoroughly fucked and how’s mark, instead.” He rolled his eyes as he tugged his trolley bag down to the parking. Jackson snickered. He threw an arm around jaebum’s shoulder. “Hi hyung! How are you? How was the flight? Have you eaten?” he mimcked. jaebum hummed.”I’m fine. The flight was long and boring. I almost did not want to come. And I am starving!” jaebum answered. “Then let’s stop for a bite first, before we head home.”

They were seated in one of the outer tables because jaebum had insisted that he wanted to see the seoul traffic and people he had missed. “I thought you didn’t want to come back.” Jackson raised an eyebrow. Jaebum sighed as he wiped the crumbs of the cake off his chin. “it was like a dream jackson. I woke up in his arms everyday, we showered together, he cooked breakfast, I would cook dinner, we’d walk coco in the afternoon. We went to work together, we went on dates where we’d hold hands, we could kiss in the middle of anywhere. When I first arrived, we spent 2 days in bed. It was like living a dream but you know you gotta wake up and so I had to leave. But I want to dream that again.” He licked his lips, still tasting mark. Jackson smiled softly. “ I’m sorry hyung.” He whispered. “don’t be.” Jaebum smiled back.

After jackson took off with his luggage, jaebum headed to the company. He had to let Jinyoung know he was back and dump some drives in his studio. He was nervous about meeting the younger, he guessed he’d always be. Jinyoung had a tendency to raise a zoo in jaebum’s stomach. And the worst part was, that he knew of the effect he had on him. Jaebum wasn’t surprised when he saw the familiar coffee cup on his table with a note stuck to it. He recognised jinyoung’s handwriting. Something about welcome back, I missed you. In a meeting. Go ahead to the hospital to see ommonim and I’ll see you in the evening. Jaebum sighed as he peeled the note off the mug and crumpled it.

The hospital room was a better one than the one she had been in a year back. Despite jaebum’s protests, Jinyoung had shifted her to a VIP room. He had said, it was to silence the guilt building in him. Jaebum had clenched his fists and dropped his head, biting his lip to silence himself from screaming. He peaked into the room. His mother sat on the edge, glasses perched on her nose and a book in her hand. Just the way jaebum had left her. He smiled as he knocked on the door before entering. She beamed at him. “jaebongi!” she cooed as she opened her arms wide. He chuckled as he stepped into her embrace. He missed her detergent and conditioner smell that had long been replaced with the hospital smell. He hugged her, squeezing her gently in his arms before he pulled away. She smiled and stroked his cheeks. “how was America?” she asked. he nodded. “same old.” he pointed at the bouquet of flowers behind her on the table. “ah, that’s from jinyoungie. He came by on his daily visit during lunch. Such a lovely boy.” She sighed. Jaebum nodded. “yeah. That’s nice of him.” He moved to fluff her pillow so she could lay back. “nayeon came too. They make such a cute couple.” She sighed again wistfully. Jaebum hummed. He gently pushed her back to prop herself up against the pillows. “you shouldn’t be sitting for too long omma.” He mumbled. “I know. I know.” She adjusted into the pillows. “don’t try to change the topic. When am I going to get to see my son like that?” jaebum sighed as he turned away from her. “not again omma.” “then when? You are not getting any younger. What are you looking for. Noona romance? Highschool sweetheart? What kind of girl do you like, tell omma. I’m sure Jinyoung can help you meet some pretty trainees, producers, models or –“ “omma, please. I’m not looking for a girl.” He huffed. “ then look for a girl for my sakes!” she chided. Jaebum sighed, he ran a hand down his face. “why is it that every conversation between us always goes this way.” “because you are being stubborn and disappointing.” She scoffed.

_“you are being stubborn and disappointing.” Jinyoung said as he shrugged his jacket back on. “Jinyoung, I’m just sick of being like this. I-“ jaebum tried to speak before Jinyoung interrupted him again. “hyung, what good is it coming out? Ommonim won’t like it and its best not to stress her in her condition. We still can’t be together. I’m married. In this arrangement, we get what we want. We get to be together and no one is harmed.” Jinyoung ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it back to style. Jaebum frowned._

Jaebum frowned. “yah!? I’m talking to you.” His mother called out. A soft knock on the door brought them to a stop. Nayeon stepped in, smiling. “ommo-nim, we forgot these fruits in the car. Oh!! Oppa!! You’re back!” she beamed at him. Jaebum smiled back. “how are you? And thank you so much for looking after mother.” He took the fruits from her and gestured to the chair to sit. “I’m good oppa. And you really shouldn’t be thanking us.” She smiled, taking his mother’s hands in hers. “it’s our duty and pleasure.”

Nayeon was a wonderful woman. Really. She had only ever loved Jinyoung from when she was told she was to be married to him. She loved him even when he came home at odd times, even when he spent most of his waking hours with jaebum, even when he never touched unless before their parents, even when he won’t he loves her. She would always say,she understood. She understood Jinyoung was married young, she understood he had an empire to run, she understood he wasn’t ready but he was a good man. And she loved him. Nayeon did not deserve to be cheated by Jinyoung and jaebum’s selfishness. He was going to end it, tonight.

Jaebum spent the bus ride daydreaming. He dreamt of mark, his soft blond locks he had dyed red. He dreamt of his lips brushing his skin, his tongue mapping his chest, his eyes taking him up and down, deep and dark, filled with love and desire. He dreamt of the warmth of mark’s hand in his. The way he would squeeze it gently, the way he would play with his fingers in the early mornings, the way he slid the ring on his finger and the way he would kiss his knuckles. He dreamt of his chest, purple and red blossoms across it, the way he smelt, the way he held jaebum, the way he let jaebum hold him. He dreamt of his laugh, the way his shoulders would shake, the way he would wrap his legs around jaebum’s waist, ankles crossing and the way he would lick into his mouth. He could swear he still felt the burn in his thighs as he held him apart, the fingers pressing into his hips, his smell still mixed with jaebum’s and his lips still brushing his fringes. Jaebum ran a hand through his hair. God, he missed him so much. He missed himself so much. The real him he had to hide. He had to pretend he wasn’t anything like him.THe him only jinyoung saw, and now mark.

When he entered the apartment, jackson was already home. “hey!” he yelled from the kitchen. “I’m home!” jaebum yelled back. “welcome honey!” jackson chirped. Jaebum rolled his eyes as he made his way to the kitchen. “what are you doing in the kitchen?” jaebum asked. jackson shrugged. “early dinner. Jinyoung said he was coming over so. I’ll be out of your hair soon.” Jaebum frowned. “don’t.” he replied. “don’t?” jackson cocked his head to the side. “don’t leave. Stay. I may need you. I’m going to end things with Jinyoung.” Jaebum turned on his heel. “end things with Jinyoung!” jackson sputtered. “yeah, I think it’s about time. nayeon deserves better, mark deserves better.” Jaebum shrugged his coat off. “now you think they deserve better!” jackson scoffed. “he doesn’t even love me jackson.” He continued walking to his room, his eyes scanning for nora.

“he doesn’t love you!?Hyung!!” jackson gasped. “Just because he doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved, doesn’t mean he doesn’t.” jackson tugged him back. They words echoed in his head. “I know he loves you. I know, its not the way mark loves you but I know he loves you. And this is difficult on him as well, but sometimes hyung, life happens. And you have no choice but to go with the flow. And I can’t believe you think its going to be easy to break it off with him. The same Jinyoung you have loved all your life, the one for whom you have bitten your tongue countless times, the one for whom you keep coming back, the one you search for in every other man. That Jinyoung. Who are you kidding hyung? You may love mark, but he could never hold a candle to Jinyoung. And you know that.”

Jaebum sighed, admitting defeat. Really, who was he kidding. “what do I do jackson?” he slumped in the younger’s arms. Jackson wrapped his arms around the older boy. He sighed as he brushed his mullet. “I’m sorry hyung.” He whispered. “don’t be.” Jaebum whispered back.

**Author's Note:**

> And so I try my hand at angst again,  
> It breaks my heart to put jjp through this but a girl's got to do whata girl's got to do.  
> Sooo any thoughts? 
> 
>  
> 
> Mian, gamao,saranghe


End file.
